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    Listen to your heart – follow your instincts!

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    Categories: Positivity

    Kiran has two children under two and is a freelance writer and parenting blogger. Living in London with her family, she also writes about life as a mum over at Mummy Says. Here she tells us about her family’s decision to move to the other side of the world.

    When my son Milin was 13 months old, my husband and I said goodbye to our friends, left our jobs and packed up our dream home in New Zealand. I was 15 weeks pregnant with our second child and we were making the biggest move of our lives. Looking back, it was one of the most stressful things we have ever done. But, we made it, and it was a move I now know we made for all the right reasons.

    My husband is originally from New Zealand and we had lived there together for eight years. However, after Milin was born I started missing my family in London. With a baby at home, I suddenly wanted my own mum around. I wanted to hear from her experiences of bringing up two children, and I also knew I needed support.

    I couldn’t imagine bringing up a second child without having more practical help, but my husband and I had always wanted two children. It was the hardest decision we’d ever made, but we decided to leave our lives behind and return to London.

    Packing up was hard work. I was exhausted – as most women are – in my first trimester. I was working from home, looking after my ten-month-old son, and trying to sort our lives into cardboard boxes. Handing in my notice at a job I loved was heartbreaking. Saying goodbye to friends I loved was devastating. And leaving behind a life I knew, where I was happy, was terrifying.

    We learnt a lot on that long-haul flight across the world. Night flights suited us better than daytime flights. That was because Milin could sleep on these as the timing fitted in with his routine. We learnt to avoid long waits at airports, because they just tired everyone out even more. And we learnt that breaking up such a big journey with children definitely helps. We spent a week in Thailand which allowed us all to recharge after one leg of the trip and start to adjust our body clocks.

    I had been worried about the impact of the move on Milin, but now we have been in London for nine months, I realise I probably didn’t need to worry as much as I did. After a couple of weeks, he had slipped back into his routine of day sleeps and good sleeps at night, and he was settled and happy. The adjustment was easier for him that it was for his parents.

    When my daughter was born in July, I knew I couldn’t have done without the amazing level of support we have had here in London. We didn’t only move so we could have more help – but with two children 18 months apart, the support has been invaluable. It has meant we have been able to have more rest and be kinder to ourselves than we could have been otherwise. That, I believe, has also benefitted our children.

    Our little family no longer lives a stone’s throw from the beach and a stone’s throw in the other direction from the city centre. We no longer live our life outdoors, among possibly one of the most easygoing nations in the world.

    But, we are surrounded by family. My children are growing up with their grandparents beside them. They are enjoying a childhood filled with the love and laughter that comes from a family being together and there for each other. It was a hard decision to make, but one we have gained so much from.

    This year has taught me that the most important questions in life don’t ever have easy answers. But when it comes to making decisions involving your children, you must listen to your heart and follow your instincts.

    World Prematurity Day

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    Categories: Baby Health Tags: ,

    Kylie had her baby at 27 weeks gestation 4 and a half years ago. When Joseph was was 9 months old she began a blog Not Even A Bag of Sugar to try and make sense of the experience, and to help other parents. Now she works for Bliss the only UK charity devoted to special care babies and their parents, recruiting volunteers to provide support, signposting and other services to families.

    At some point during your neonatal journey you will have the conversation. There are a number of conversations that take place during a neonatal stay, the “consent” conversation – here are the things we could potentially do to your baby, the “odds” conversation – here are your babies chances of survival and then perhaps the final one; “The future”.

    For any baby the future is always a bit uncertain. No one knows any baby’s course of their life, babies can have a number of conditions some that are obvious at birth like Down’s Syndrome, others that may not appear until pre-school years, like Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.

    However for the baby born preterm doctors know, through research, that there are higher likelihoods that things may not always be plain sailing. The brain, having to develop outside the womb, will have been affected by a number of factors, like oxygen, the medications delivered, even separation from the primary caregiver, usually the mother. Sometimes things go wrong like brain bleeds.  During a neonatal stay crises can occur like bowel conditions such as necrotising enterocolitis, sepsis (systemic infection), heart problems like PDAs.

    The conversation we had was that whilst Joseph’s later neonatal stay was largely uneventful “the future” was still uncertain. Our consultant team were fairly sure Joseph would need additional support at school, there were concerns he may need ongoing feeding support, and that he might have cerebral palsy.

    As time progressed feeding sorted itself out, Joseph began to develop, whilst slower than other babies, at a rate that reflected the fact he was born 13 weeks too soon, and had experienced a number of problems.  Once we got to 21 months the consultant was deeply concerned that Joseph wasn’t walking. I wasn’t bothered, he was pulling to stand and cruising, he just preferred crawling to get around. That resolved by 2 years and Joseph began to walk. There still concerns, raised by nursery, when he was 3 and we went back to the consultant team, who didn’t feel his walking was of grave concern and again no treatment was prescribed.

    The fact is there is absolutely no magical age at which prematurity just “goes away”. A lot of people, even some doctors and health visitors say, “Oh by 2 they will have all caught up”.  That, quite frankly, is utter nonsense. There is no “catch up” it’s not a race where the baby has received some sort of handicap like a fast runner might to level the playing field. Prematurity is a complex medical condition.

    Now Joseph has started reception it is clear that on some levels he remains far behind his peers. His physical skills are behind, although his mental acuity is fine. He can’t write yet or hold a pen. Yes there are other boys, especially, in his class who are having trouble holding pens, so it “may” not be a prematurity issue, but I think it probably is.  And, in a sense, this isn’t an issue for me, because its expected. No baby can be born at 27 weeks gestation and be expected to just “get over that”.

    What is needed, in my opinion, is a bridge over the disconnect between neonatal service delivery and education services, and other services delivered to parents of children with prematurity. Put simply, as more and more babies can be saved prematurely there will be more and more of these children in our schools, dance classes, GP services etc. It’s not enough to leave neonatal care at the door of the special care baby unit.

    If a child is struggling at school I think amongst the usual questions such as, “Is there anything going on at home?” teachers should ask, “Was the child born prematurely?” because, quite frankly, it can explain a lot.

    Joseph is now 4. He is proud of being a “Bliss special baby” he has volunteered on neonatal units, he has attended fundraising events.

    And his mother and father are immensely proud of him.

    World Prematurity Day is on Sunday 17 November 2013.

    Treasured Memories

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    Categories: Positivity

    Today Amy Scott, founder of Treasured, tells us what inspired her to create this special app which allows you to catch, collect and cherish your memories.

    I don’t live near my family, I moved to London when I was 24 and my parents live on the south coast of England. My sister lives near my parents, and my brother lives in America with his family and my husband’s family are all in the North-East of England.

    When I was pregnant we moved to our current home, only 8 miles away from our old house, but as most of our old friends had already had children and were past the “baby stage” I set out to make some new, local friends.  We met three lovely couples on our NCT ante-natal course and started a tentative friendship with them before having our little bundle of joy!  Once our beautiful baby girl was born, I decided to try some of the local baby groups, and I quickly filled my week with “meets”, whether it be a baby group in a local church hall, an NCT coffee morning at a local coffee shop or an organised walk around a nearby park with the buggies!

    Some of the ladies and children I met at these groups are still our friends today, five years later, and I don’t know what I would have done without them! We’ve supported each other through all those little “is this normal?”/”should I panic?” moments, and now we’re going through the “I can’t believe my baby is at big school” panics!

    Being a mum with family and friends dotted around the country got me thinking…I wanted to be able to share all my memories and photos just with those people who were a part of my daughter’s and our life.  I didn’t want all and sundry seeing every picture I took, but equally I wanted to be able to share moments of my daughter growing up but safely and privately.  That was when I came up with the idea for Treasured and it was quickly obvious that the ability to share my daughter’s memory box with our family was one of the best parts of the service, from the doting grandparents to my brother overseas.  What makes it even better is that I can allow (if I choose) those lovely friends of mine to put their memories and photos of her into her Treasured memory box, to keep forever.

    These days, everyone takes photos on their phones, so we all take pictures that our friends might like a copy of. Treasured makes it so easy to share those pictures in a way which means that you have ownership of the full size photo as soon as your friend has shared it with you.  From her first trip to the swings to a day at the splash park, or our group trip to Legoland, our daughter’s childhood is recorded in a safe and private place for her to enjoy when she’s older (and add to if she wishes!).

    Treasured isn’t just about photos, it’s also a place to record all those funny little things she has said as she has got older – like the memorable day at a local county fair when she saw some more mature ladies dancing: “Oh my gosh, I never knew that Grannies could dance!” to her first joke “Where do frogs keep their money? IN A RIVER BANK!”  We can record them all for us to enjoy, along with the dates and places where everything happened.

    My parents love to show their friends the latest pictures of their beautiful grandchildren, and with Treasured the best & latest ones are always there ready to be displayed on their iPhone app or through their computer on the website.

    As we have started to use Treasured in our everyday lives, it has become apparent to us that it is also useful for other events, such as weddings or special family occasions, where lots of people are taking photos, to collect all of those memories and messages into a central place and our next step will be enable Treasured users to create photobooks from their Treasured memory boxes.

    Treasured has enriched our lives, and I hope you feel that it will be a useful addition to your life too. Find Treasured on Twitter and Facebook and visit their website here.

    Five Core Principles to Raise a Healthy Child

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    Categories: Baby Health

    Ion Doaga is writes about the principles of a healthy life on his blog, ‘Massage Dreams‘. As a child he was into sports and he believes it was the happiest period of his life. His passion for a life without pills comes from the education that his parents gave him, as they raised him that way.  Today he writes about, what he believes are, the essentials to raise a healthy child.

    Good health is priceless.

    No wonder why people getting to a certain age begin to care about their health, about how they feel and how they look. However, the foundation of a healthy body is established since the first day of a child’s life and as a parent you play an important role in teaching your children the necessary habits to live a healthy life. It’s like planting the seeds that will give fruit their entire life.

    Here are a few key principle parents need to follow as their child grows.

    Proper nutrition

    • To prevent frequent illnesses or recovering fast when the child gets sick, the child must receive the required amount of nutrients on a daily basis.
    • A child’s nutrition begins with breastfeeding and as he grows, you can slowly add meat, fish, dairy products, fresh fruits and veggies to his nutrition.
    • A balanced nutritional diet needs to be served in an optimal eating regimen. The ideal formula is three main meals and two smaller ones during the day.
    • Avoid feeding your child with sweets like cakes, candies, and pies since they lead to teeth decay. Don’t feed them with fast food and sodas to prevent your child from obesity.

    Physical activity and active way of life

    Movement is life.

    • For children of any age physical exercises are very important. It develops their core muscles and strengthens their heart and lungs.
    • Encourage your children to move and exercise. Leave them down on the floor, so that they will have to move to his destination. Boys of an older age should play sports, participate in various competitions and play games with other children. Create family rituals and physical activities that you can do together, like cleaning the house, washing dishes, all kind of activities that your children can be involved in.
    • In this process children learn more about the movement of their own body, about their creative activities, cognitive abilities and willpower.
    • Regular physical activity allows members of your family to develop strength, endurance and thinking.

    Respecting the rules of personal hygiene

    “Wash your hands before you eat and your feet before you sleep.”

    • An important element of a child’s health is – personal hygiene. Keeping your body clean makes you feel healthy and good about yourself.
    • A child needs to learn the habits of personal hygiene which includes in itself body care, wearing clean clothing and shoes to maintain a good exterior look, the timely change of teeth brushes and other things of personal hygiene.

    Proper regimen of work and resting time

    • To work well you need a good rest – this refers to grown ups as well as to children, especially to those at school.
    • All family members need their adjusted and harmonious day regimen that makes time for work and rest, regular meals and leaves enough time for a restful sleep.
    • A correctly planned day improves health and mood, brings energy and optimism and improves work efficiency. As a result your children will be more successful at school.

    Avoiding harmful habits

    Children don’t make a distinction between good and bad habits. They mimic their parent’s habits and behavior.

    • If mum and dad smoke or drink alcohol, it’s likely that their kids will learn to do the same.
    • Harmful habits like smoking, alcohol abuse, drug addiction, disrupt a parent’s life and their children’s too. These parents’ addictions have detrimental effects on a child’s healthy development of their intellect, mind and their social adaptation.
    • As a parent think what example you give to your child. Parenting isn’t just a regular job. It’s a lifelong commitment.

    Take care of yourself and loved ones – and stay healthy!

    Not Forgetting the Angels

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    Categories: Baby Health Tags: ,

    This week is Baby Loss Awareness Week in the UK.  Each year, from 9-15 October, bereaved parents can commemorate their babies’ all-too-brief lives, knowing that thousands of parents elsewhere in the world will be doing the same. Baby Loss Awareness Week also provides a crucial opportunity for people to talk openly about this subject, so that awareness is raised across society and bereaved mums and dads feel less alone, and less isolated by their grief.

    October 15 is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day across the world. We would like to invite you to take part in the global ‘Wave of Light’. Simply light a candle at 7pm and leave it burning for at least 1 hour to join us in remembering all babies that have died during pregnancy, at, during or after birth. This can be done individually or in a group, at home or in a communal space. Wherever you do this, you will be joining a global wave of light in memory of all the babies who lit up our lives for such a short time.

    You may be shocked to read that 17 babies die every single day in the UK. 11 are stillborn, and 6 die within the first 28 days of life.  Stillbirth is more common than death in a road traffic accident and is 15 times more common than cot death. Yet it is something you are very unlikely to read about in your newspaper or see featured on your TV, unless it happens to someone in the public eye. Many people think stillbirths simply don’t happen in the 21st century, yet thousands of families are devastated by the death of their baby every year.

    I’m Carolyn Bray, Fundraising Manager at Sands, the stillbirth and neonatal death charity for this and I am also a bereaved parent, and I believe this unacceptable number of baby deaths must change.  Some stillbirths and early deaths are sadly unavoidable but there is evidence that a significant number of these tragic deaths might be prevented.

    The methods used to assess the health of a baby during a pregnancy have remained largely unchanged over the last 30 years. That’s why Sands is currently supporting an important, and potentially life-saving, research project based at Cambridge University, investigating whether a third trimester ultrasound scan could detect the likelihood of stillbirth.

    As you may be aware, if a woman’s pregnancy is considered to be ‘low-risk’ she will currently receive a dating scan at 12 weeks and then an anomaly scan at 20 weeks. After that the baby’s growth will be monitored through what is known as a fundal height measurement. The midwife will measure the size of the uterus, using a tape measure, to determine whether or not the baby is growing as expected. A baby whose growth is poor is at a higher risk of illness and stillbirth.  However, this method, which has been used for decades, sadly fails to pick up on the majority of babies at risk of stillbirth. The majority of unexplained stillbirths are in pregnancies considered low risk – our research could help explain why this happens. Many parents whose baby dies close to term say that they would like to have had more scans to see if anything could have been detected. However, for the NHS to introduce third trimester scanning, we need to provide them with the statistical proof that it is needed.

    Our research project will be analysing data collected from 4,000 first time mothers.

    The researchers will assess a range of information from blood, chromosome and DNA tests to determine what the differences are between women who go on to have a healthy baby and women who have a stillbirth.

    And if doctors and health professionals are able to see indicators for stillbirth on third trimester scans, they could potentially be able to address some of the medical issues that might come up. For instance, if they see a baby is in trouble they could perform a caesarean section in cases where the baby would stand a better chance on a ventilator.

    Ultimately, this research could save precious young lives.

    Sadly, research into stillbirth and neonatal death (within the first 28 days of a baby’s life) has not received anything like the funding and support it merits – especially when compared with other areas. For instance, millions of pounds were spent developing a test to detect Down’s Syndrome during pregnancy. This is, of course, very welcome, yet Down’s Syndrome is far less common than stillbirth and thanks to research the rates of cot death, which as I mentioned earlier, is ten times less common than stillbirth, have been reduced by 70 per cent over the last 30 years.

    What these figures prove is that when money and resources are invested, research can find solutions to medical problems that were previously thought to be unsolvable or somehow ‘natural’.

    To find out more about the work of Sands, or to make a donation, visit www.uk-sands.org
    National helpline: 0207 436 5881 or email helpline@uk-sands.org.

    Meningitis – knowing the signs could save a life

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    Categories: Baby Health

    Meningitis can strike in an instant, but its impact can last a lifetime.  This week it’s Meningitis Awareness Week and Jane Blewitt, Specialist Resources and Education Manager at the Meningitis Trust/Meningitis UK, is encouraging everyone to know the signs and symptoms of meningitis.

    “Meningitis and septicaemia are very dangerous and can kill in hours. It can affect anyone of any age at any time, however there are at risk groups.

    • Babies, toddlers and young children under five are the most at risk group for meningitis, with over 50% of all cases occurring in this age group.
    • College students are second most at risk from meningitis. One in four 15 – 19 year olds carry these bacteria in the back of their throats, compared to one in ten of the UK population.
    • Adults are also at risk. Meningitis can strike at any time, regardless of health, gender, age, race or class. People over 55 are at risk of meningitis as our immune systems weaken as we get older.

    Take a look at our  story centre to find out how meningitis and septicaemia have changed people’s lives forever.

    What can you do to protect yourself and your loved ones?

    Effective vaccines are available to prevent some, but not all, types of meningitis. It is vital to know all the signs and symptoms of meningitis and septicaemia so that you can take action.

    Remember that meningitis and septicaemia often happen together, but can occur separately.

    Know all the signs and symptoms

    “You can also download our free symptoms app for iPhone or Android.

    Finally, Jane says if you think someone has meningitis or septicaemia, trust your instincts and get medical help immediately. Don’t wait for a rash – this may appear late or not at all.

    Help us help you

    Here at the Meningitis Trust/Meningitis UK we are campaigning to introduce a vaccine for Meningitis B –there is a licensed vaccine which means that this is now a preventable disease. Help us beat it now by visiting www.beat-it-now.org to sign our petition, write or email your MP or donate what you can afford today.