Anxious that you may lose your baby? Guilty that you aren’t enjoying being pregnant? Unable to acknowledge that you are having a baby? Angry that people are treating your pregnancy as ‘normal’? Sleepless nights while you wait for this pregnancy to go further than the baby you lost before? Wondering where all the medical support has gone? Not able to believe?
Well that was me.
Most of all I was shocked that I still had all these feelings to deal with. I spent so many years on the focus of getting pregnant; I just assumed that I would be happy.
I wasn’t totally, I was anxious.
So what could I do? How could I start to bond with my baby, and remain in that PUPO bubble… Pregnant until proven otherwise?
Well for me it was to try and change the narrative in my head. It was to accept that I had a right to worry, accept that I had a right to have a baby at the end of my pregnancy, to accept my anxiety, but to alleviate it because I wanted to protect myself and my baby.
I needed some time where there was nothing else but to focus on breathing in and out, to allow myself some time to stroke my bump and maybe, just maybe believe. Or at least acknowledge right there in the moment I could feel him kick, and know he was ok.
I needed the flow of movement, and the breath that takes my mind and body into a better space. I have that gift for my little boy Douglas now, so he has a calmer and happier mama, which makes him calmer and happier too. It always has done.
I did worry that any form of exercise or lifting or well just about anything may jeopardise my Pregnancy, but in reality what I needed most was to support my body as well as my mind. Pregnancy is tough work!
For me, MamaBabyBliss is my safe place. I have only ever received support and understanding here. Support for my body and support for my mind, and a place to know my feelings are normal, because I hear other Mama’s share the same.
Now I teach, because I want every woman, whether they struggled to get pregnant or not, to have that support.
Amongst the classes I teach now is Pregnancy Stretch & Relax and Couples Birth Preparation. I know how much they help with the anxiety and stress of an IVF Pregnancy, not to mention being Pregnant after loss.
They do help alleviate common ailments such as back pain and heart burn, and yes they provide a way to breathe and move through labour. The most important thing they provide though is a place of calm and safety to talk about how you feel.
Maybe you have pangs of guilt because you are not grateful for your morning sickness. Maybe you are struggling to acknowledge your baby in case you lose them. Maybe you just want to celebrate, or maybe you just need to switch off for a bit and breathe.
MamaBabyBliss has given me a way to share that, should you need it. We are always here, and here for every Mama, because let’s face it; anxiety about your pregnancy is not the sole privilege of the IVF Mama.