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Articles "Advice and tips on how to settle a crying baby" The early days The first night home with Matilda, my partner and I congratulated ourselves on having such a placid baby - she hardly made a peep in the hospital. Come nightfall, though, we were despairing. Matilda cried for virtually seven hours straight. The next day, I told the midwife and she asked, "Could she have been hungry?". When I explained I was having problems breastfeeding, she laughed. "Matilda must be starving, poor thing." In the panic of being home with my newborn for the first time, and after reading that lots of babies don't eat for the first 24 hours, it didn't even cross my mind she was hungry. I was left feeling pretty stupid. Surely I should have known instinctively why she was crying? Understanding your baby's cries A newborn's cries are enough to break even the toughest parent's heart, but unless you have an exceptionally good-natured baby, they are something you have to get used to pretty quickly. Crying is, after all, the only way your newborn has of communicating, and there are numerous reasons why she might be exercising her tiny lungs, not just if she's hungry or has a dirty nappy. Tiredness, over stimulation, loneliness, heat and cold - they're all enough to set baby off. After a while they may use different cries to communicate different things, and if you can distinguish between them, it makes figuring out what's bothering baby a lot easier. But don't feel like a failure if you can't. Keeping a journal for a couple of days where you observe closely when your baby cries and writing down what helped settle your baby at the time can help you begin to recognise certain cues. Try to relax In the book What to Expect in the First Year , it points out the reassuring fact that "four out of every five babies have daily crying sessions of from 15 minutes to an hour that are not easily explained". Whether there's too much going on for your baby to compute, the day has been so full of stimuli that their brain is overloaded, or something out of your control is making them frustrated, sometimes your baby just needs a good old cry. Try not to get stressed out about it. Babies are extremely sensitive, and they will pick up on your angst. Rock-a-bye baby Putting themselves to sleep is a problem for many newborns, and some otherwise happy babies seem to need to cry themselves to sleep. Matilda is a smiley baby, but even now, at seven months, she still cries before dozing off. She found it difficult to put herself to sleep from day one. During the first eight weeks of motherhood my days were spent trying to get her to nap (often unsuccessfully), and my nights trying to calm a tired, screaming baby, often until 11 at night. Introducing some familiarity into our evenings, with bath-time at 6pm, followed by a bottle and some calm, quiet time - reading stories and cuddling - before bedtime, helped enormously. Matilda (and I) got to wind down, and pretty soon the over-stimulated screams that filled our evenings turned into contented snores. There's nothing like a hug What to Expect in the First Year recognises, however, that whatever tactics you use, "none will work all the time, some won't work at all, and sometimes nothing will work". Cuddling and physical contact often helps (and don't ever worry about 'spoiling' a baby with a cuddle - you can't spoil a young baby as crying is only ever about communication and not manipulation - babies DO get lonely and sometimes physical comfort is all that is needed!), so too may a change of scenery, a change of arms or a change of temperature. You might think that waving baby's toys in his face is the best way to entertain baby, but often, the opposite is true. Over stimulation is almost guaranteed to induce crying. My secret weapon (and most mums have discovered one from many hours spent comforting their little ones) is loud, repetitive shhh-ing. Never ignore a crying baby Most importantly, always respond to your baby's cries, even if it feels like your efforts are in vain. It's important that your baby knows you're there for her, even if you can't stop her tears. And take solace from the fact that, as the months pass, unexplained sporadic outbursts of crying will almost certainly become less frequent as your baby discovers new, less noisy ways to communicate with you. Note: If your baby's cries are prolonged, out of character or very weak, or if you suspect your baby has colic, consult a doctor straight away. Help & Support Cry-sis offers support for families with excessively crying, sleepless and demanding babies. Call the Cry-sis helpline on 08451 228 669 seven days a week, from 9am-10pm www.cry-sis.org.uk Parentlineplus is an excellent organisation that provides a 24-hour listening service for parents of children of any age. Visit the website at www.parentlineplus.org.uk, or call an advisor on 0808 800 2222 with any concerns relating to your baby. |
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Crying is a baby's natural way to communicate and a mum can always distinguish her baby cries - right? Well, not always - but it does get easier to 'read' your baby with time and there are ways to settle and soothe your baby in the meantime. 
"When Ernie was tiny, we used to put him in a sling if he was tired and grumpy - going out for a walk or just carrying him around the house always put him to sleep. Now that he's older, distracting him with made-up noises can often turn cries into giggles, as can holding him in front of a mirror." 
"When Cara is tired and crying in her cot, I hold her hands gently but firmly either side of her shoulders (the position they naturally fall into when she dozes off). It is the one thing that is almost guaranteed to calm her down." 
"I learnt a baby yoga hold called 'Tiger in a Tree' and it was one of the only ways to stop Olivia crying in the first few months [lie your baby face down on your forearm, with their head nestled in the crook of your arm and your hand between their legs]. She used to fall asleep like it all the time." 
"Freddy doesn't have any problem getting off to sleep at night, but when he cries at other times, movement and jiggling seems to be the answer - around the room, in his pram or just being walked and held. Distraction by silly sounds and talking also work if he's grizzly. When he was very small, swaddling was his thing. A tight cuddle helps even now he's a hefty 7kg." 
"Luca has no problem going to sleep at night time, but if he's tired in the day and is finding it difficult to sleep, I sing to him or put him beneath his musical mobile."